And I am Overwhelmed.

The volume of it finally hits me. Placcidly I stare at the ceiling, praying for Peter Pan to come swoop me away from my worldy worries.

I gobble up left over chocolate hoping that it’ll temporarily relieves me. Or at the very least motivate me to get going. But it’s days like this when I see my to-do list that I lose myself in a bottomless pit of despair.

Even merciful sunlight would reject soil in where I am right now.

It’s days like these where nothing feels right. When missing a yoga class in the morning is detrimental to the rest of my day. When eating so much endorphin enducing shit doesn’t even start to hit a nerve. When the work gets so routine one wonders the intent behind its’ supposed value to society.

My happy bone has been somehow surgically removed.

I don’t know where all these words are coming from. I’m not supposed to be here, I’m supposed to be doing something with my life and my time now. I cannot decide what to prioritize. Or if I should just throw the towel, go outside, bask in the sun, and just be.

I’m exhaustingly overwhelmed. As a woman, as a dancer, as a responsible roommate/tenant, as a friend, as an intern, as a young blogger, as a student, and as a person.

Sometimes I want to escape to my own Never Ever land where no one can detect my exhaustive past or the hints of insommia under my eyes or my sudden bouts of weariness normally associated with death and his friends.

The ping of my Iphone jolts me. If I could get away from technology right now, just for ONE day, a solid 24 hours, I would. But just like everyone else I have to face my responsiblities. And grow up.

And stop longing for Peter Pan.